About Me

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I am modern mom to two wonderful boys. I am married to my childhood sweetheart and love of my life. I am on a journey to wellness in my personal life and for my family as well. Why I Blog: I have found that writing in general is very freeing for me. I enjoy writing and the idea that other people are reading what I'm writing moves me. If even just ONE thing I post touches, moves, or helps another human in ways that I have been touched by bloggers, I am pleased. Blogging is my release. And once it's out there, it's free for anyone and everyone.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Due Dates

Today is the day that I was due with Adley, 1 year ago.  He would have been 1 year old today. Such a milestone.  I often try to imagine what he might look like. Would he look like his brothers?  Would he have blonde curls like Elliot did at that age, or would he have fine, dark hair like Jack?  I know he would be a pudgy baby, as both of the boys were.

In 5 days, I will be thinking the same things, only about my other lost baby.  The one that is harder to talk about.  We named the baby Willow.  I had a feeling that she was a girl, but I don't know.  Since I was just 15 weeks and didn't get a chance to find out, it's harder to imagine.  I know that without Adley, Willow wouldn't have happened.  And vice versa.  It is such an odd feeling, though.  I wanted both of them.  I wish they both could have lived.  I won't ever understand why, but hopefully, someday I will be able to accept it.  

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