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I am modern mom to two wonderful boys. I am married to my childhood sweetheart and love of my life. I am on a journey to wellness in my personal life and for my family as well. Why I Blog: I have found that writing in general is very freeing for me. I enjoy writing and the idea that other people are reading what I'm writing moves me. If even just ONE thing I post touches, moves, or helps another human in ways that I have been touched by bloggers, I am pleased. Blogging is my release. And once it's out there, it's free for anyone and everyone.

Monday, December 10, 2012

They're everywhere

Pregnant women, that is. 

And babies.

Big, pregnant bellies, facebook announcements, tiny little feet, perfectly healthy smiles. 


And I hate it.  I hate that it's not me.  That should be me rubbing my belly.  I should have been finding out if my baby was a boy or a girl.  I should be planning the move to our bigger house.  Because we needed a bigger house to fill with children. 

They say "You already have 2 children, you should just be happy." or "You can try again! Don't give up." or "Time heals all wounds." or "Everything happens for a reason." 

And to that I say "fuck off".  But I don't actually say it.  I smile and nod and agree.  Because they don't know.  They have never felt the ache.  And I'm so happy for them.  Truly, I am.  I wish I wasn't a member of the "club". 

I want to be able to show off my beautiful, pregnant belly to everyone; friends and strangers alike.  But I know that if that were me, I'd just be making another mama like me feel the pain and heartache that I feel.  So I'll just sit back and be jealous of their blissful ignorance.

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